Secret fantasies

Of lives fallen in shadow

Restless dreams

Waking,

tangled in sweat soaked sheets

Tear soaked pillows

Remind

Long into the night

Each episode of fitful slumber

Divided by long

Silent

Contemplation,

Lying awake in the dark

Alone in my own little bubble

But close enough to her

To feel like I’m still real

Reality fades again

As I drift off

Into a world

That I thought I had left behind

The screams come back

Comforting me

As I begin my methodical work

They are only faces

Eyes in the darkness

Their names

Lost long ago

When the van door closed

They are mine

And I am a god again

If only until the end of the dream

Their screams

Turn into my own

As I feel the spinning assent

Into consciousness once again

I scream myself awake

But it’s only just a muffled peep

As the covers materialize

And once again I am swaddled

in moist cotton sheets

I lay still

Trying to decide which world is real

Unable to tell for sure

beside of me, she moves

this must be the real place

I roll over

Put my arm around her

She snuggles into me

As the screams echo and fade into the night

coyotes reply with their own mournful howl

They feel the pain

Releasing into the night

From a place that never was

And soon will be again

Everything fades once more