Live Fast Die Young

 

I never thought I would make it to 35 let alone 41

I used to believe that we should “live fast and die young”

As that saying echoes off into the distant yesterdays

Is it and ponder life

 

 

I am not who I thought I would be

As time passed I have tried to hold onto

My memories of what it was like to be young

I think that has made me a better father.

My daughter just called me and told me

Some of the things that she is doing on her vacation.

 

I knew she would do them

But it warms my heart that she thinks enough of me

To be honest with me.

 

As I sit here on my little farm

In rural Arkansas

I am a long way from what would be called my home

 

It was a home that never was

 

 

I have outlived my dreams

At 41 years old

I am officially starting over

Actually the transition began three years ago

It began in the form of a leap of faith

I traveled across this great country of ours

To live in the woods

 

 

From there to here

man

where did the time go

 

three years have just flown by

 

I am finally a land owner

 

My daughter is back in my life

 

And I have a girlfriend that likes most of the things that I like

 

 

Life is magic

 

 

I still feel bad for surviving my time in the Marine Corps

When so many haven't

But it doesn't eat at me like it used to.

 

 

Time passes

It seems to us

That there are so many important things

Things that we have to do

 

Punching a clock for pay

Getting a degree

That perfect birthday gift

The wedding dress that we just have to have

We NEED that new big screen tv

And new rims for the car

 

 

What does it all matter

 

In the grand scheme of things

It doesn't matter one bit

 

 

Loving or hating the president

Takes so much energy

 

War and religion

Which go hand in hand

Take so many lives

Killing in the name of a god

Or for profit

Sending young naive kids off to fight

In a war that we have no business being in

 

 

man

there are so many things

that are set up to drain our energy

 

 

even our holidays

are set up to hit us before we can recover financially from the last one

and none of it matters

 

 

My daughter loves me

Even if I can't buy her a bunch of presents

 

 

Where am I going with this?

I don't even know

 

 

I am older than I ever thought I would be

And I am getting older every day

I am so tired

But I go on

 

My last day will be here before I know it

And I'm sure there will be some regrets

 

I haven't jumped out of a plane for one

I'll never have a 30^th wedding anniversary

 

What else?

Who knows

 

 

I look at

Jim Morison

John Belushi

And Chris Farley

 

Man they knew how to party

They lived fast

And they died young

 

Did they waste their lives?

I don't think so

 

 

I think time is something other than minutes and seconds

I think time

Is a perception

Those guys packed a whole life time

Into their short lives

 

 

Time is a tricky thing

I have seen it in many lights

It has drug on

And flew by

 

I have seen the back side of time

 

When I was in the coma

I lived for 30 years

In just the 2 ½ weeks that I was unconscious

 

 

30 years

That’s right

I lived an entire life time in a 2 ½ week hallucination

 

 

I'm not sure how to end this

Or if it was even worth writing

But I will leave you with this

 

 

reality

isn't what everybody has told you that it is

 

reality

well, your reality

is limited

by your ability to accept it

 

 

time

as you see it

is limited to your perception of its passing

 

 

nothing is real

even a solid object is fluid on a molecular level

 

 

we are all limited by our ability

to let go of preconceived notions

 

 

I hope beyond anything

That God is real

And when I die

He will open me up to all of the knowledge there is

And tear down all of those facts that I KNOW to be true

 

 

Maybe I'll ride a beam of light

Or sit on an electron and take a ride for a while

 

 

All that I truly know

Is that I know nothing at all

 

And to claim that something is fact

Cages our mind

 

 

Please my friends

Give up on some of your facts

And embrace the possibilities

 

 

Before time

Your time, at least

Has run out.