Memoirs of a Tiny Dog

In the beginning there was the momma, and the milk was good.

I couldn’t see anything but I didn’t know that yet, because I didn’t know what seeing was.

There were little warm balls of fur around me

We snuggled together against momma to keep warm.

 

These were my brothers and sisters

Later after my eyes were open

The brothers and sisters would jump and play

We would bite each other’s ears

And we would bark and growl, practicing for the day when we would be grown up.

 

The big people fed momma

She said they were her masters

And that some day we would have masters of our own

“but momma, I said, I want to stay here and play with my brothers and sisters and never leave you”

Momma said “that’s not possible my son, the masters make the rules

And soon the day will come when your master will come for you”

 

I was sad but I really didn’t believe her because it just sounded too horrible to be true

This was my family and they would always be with me.

 

People came

They gave mommas masters green pieces of paper

And took my brother

I asked momma what the papers were

She said the masters use them and they are of great value to them

 

We all missed my brother but we romped and played every day

And life was good

 

As the days went by

My brothers and sisters all got masters

And then my day came

 

They picked me up

Held me close and loved on me

They gave me a new home

I had a bed, toys, and delicious food

I missed momma and my brothers and sisters

But having a master was just fine with me

 

Then I started getting into trouble

I made a mess on the floor

But I couldn’t hold it

 

I chewed things up

It felt right

I didn’t understand

The masters said “NO’ and “Bad Dog”

And they spanked me

 

I kept messing up

And soon they took me back to momma

 

But things were different

I was a big dog now

And daddy bit me

I bit him back

Momma just went about her day like I meant nothing to her

 

I didn’t understand

Soon the new master came

I loved him at once

He took me home

And the master had a mate

But I was the masters and she was below me

 

I slept in the master’s bed under the warm covers

When I had to potty I went to the door

I had my own leash and everything

 

I had fights with the master’s mate

But I was still her boss

I knew that she was hurting my master somehow

She wasn’t biting him

But he was hurting inside.

I couldn’t help him

 

After about a year the master and his mate were getting ready for something

Everything was changing

Then we got in the car

We rode for four days

 

When we got to where we were going

We didn’t have a home

We lived in a tent in the woods

The smells were great

And I could tell that the master loved it there

 

But the master’s mate was sad

She didn’t like it

She believed that the master had made a mistake

 

Let her go master, I thought

We don’t need her

But that didn’t happen

The master gave up his dream for his mate

And we moved into a house

I knew in my heart that the masters dream was lost forever

Humans seldom get the courage to make such a choice in life more than once.

 

A couple months after Christmas

The master’s mate left

I knew it before the master did

And I could feel his pain even before he walked through the door

 

He cried and cried

I know that he almost took his own life

But I was there for him

I slept under the covers

And waited on the couch for him to get home

 

When he got home

He was never out of my sight for long

 

We couldn’t afford to stay in the house we were in

So we moved to a smaller apartment

There were many rules

Too many

But we made it through it as a team

I had him and he had me

 

Then one day the master left me

He was gone so long

But he came back

I thought it was like before

I thought I had done something wrong

But it was ok

The master was back

And we were a family again

 

Before long we went on another journey

We lived in a tent in the city for 14 days

There were many smells

Many people

Many bad people

 

There was a fight

The master had fought off four bad people before I woke up

I smelled blood

But it was not the masters, so it was ok.

The master had shed blood to protect us

And that was the way of the pack

So it was fine with me.

 

We rode home in a big truck

When we stopped at a hotel

I couldn’t go inside

So the master slept in the truck with me

It was the way it was supposed to be

I gave things up for him

And he gave things up for me

 

After we were home for a little while

We took another trip

We drove a long time

When we got to our destination

The master’s pup was there

I liked her

But the master was mine

 

There was trouble here but the master couldn’t fix it

We went to the ocean and we swam in the surf.

We stayed in a motel

I even took a bath

 

We were on our way home when the phone rang

The master turned around

And went back toward where we had come from

The trouble with his pup had come back

 

We made room in the car and we brought his pup home with us

I knew this would change things but it was ok because I was with my master

 

After we got home

There were the power struggles between me and the master’s pup

But I still got to sleep in the bed and sit on the couch with him

 

Before long we moved to a bigger apartment

I knew that the master had other plans in his heart

But for now we were here

And I got to sleep in the bed and sit on the couch

it was all ok

 

after the bad winter

we moved again

this time it was to the masters own home

it was a farm

I got to be outside

I got to sleep in the bed under the covers

And sit on the couch

Everything was ok

 

It wasn’t long before the master got a new mate

She had pups of her own

And things started to change

 

I was getting in trouble again

I never got to spend time with my master anymore

I was always getting in trouble

 

I haven’t slept on a bed in a long time

I can’t go outside

And I don’t even get to sit on the soft couch

 

I don’t understand what I did wrong

It’s not my fault that I have fleas

I can’t help it

 

Sometimes I sneak into one of the master’s mate’s pups bed

And I pee to make it smell like its mine

 

The master and his mate get so mad at me

I’m so scared that he will leave me like the masters before him

I don’t know what to do

 

I want our old life back

I don’t like sitting on the floor

And now I have to sleep in a cage

 

I don’t like this life

The master hardly ever pets me

And I am so sad all of the time

I feel sick inside

I wait for him to get home

And the first thing that he does is yells at me

I’m sorry

 

I don’t know what to do.

I’m just a bad dog