The Crack in the Bubble

As I approached the house

the child's smile reached out to me.

Do you want to see how fast I can ride he asked?

I said "good job" as he rode by.

He was seeking approval like most children. 

He followed me into the house as I delivered the pizza.

He sat down next to his father.

I felt my smile fade along with the joy in my heart.

In an instant I relived my youth,

when the child asked,

"Daddy are you high?"

Something inside of me changed at that moment.

Until then my coldness always protected me from my real feelings. Later that day while delivering another pizza

I saw a dog beside the road.

If it would have been hit the day before

I would have felt nothing.

That day however that little boy had exposed something inside of me

that had been hidden for years.

  As I looked over at that dog

I thought how sad someone would be

if it were to get hit.

At that moment the dog looked directly into my eyes.

I saw in those eyes all the pain that ever existed.

I felt the pain of every child that ever lost a dog.

I felt the pain of every dog that ever lost a child.

I felt every loss that ever broke a heart.

A wave of pain and despair, washed over me.

Everything that I had ever blocked out

reflected back onto my heart

as if it were a mirror.

I lived all the pain of a lifetime,

a hundred lifetimes

in a single look from a small dog.

Death,

what death is,

my own death

reflected in that dogs eyes that day.

I looked away;

I looked back,

all that was there was a happy little dog.

My God,

What did that child do to me?

Douglas c Face