Every Man

Every man – should have a truck, even if he drives a minivan back and forth to work.

Every man – needs to be able to drive a standard transmission vehicle. There is nothing like having total control over your vehicle whether it be downshifting to climb a hill or starting out in a higher gear on ice and snow to reduce tire slippage.

Every man – Should keep a spare engine around so he can put it in the back of his truck and drive around, even if he just takes it back home when he is done.

Every man – should have a good pair of worn out work boots, you walk different in work boots and it makes you feel like a man.

Every man – Should have a torch, nothing makes you feel like a man more than cutting steel with fire.

Every man – Should have a big tool box full of tools, even if he doesn’t know how to change a light bulb, he should get the tools out at least once a month and take out a wrench and turn at least one nut and tighten at least one screw.

Every man  - should have a chain saw. Even if he has to hunt all over town for a single branch to cut up, he needs to be covered in saw dusk and smell like 2 cycle oil at least every 2 months.

Every man – should have a motorcycle. A man needs to get the wind in his face every now and then, and if at all possible he should live in a state where there are no helmet laws.

Every man – should visit a strip club at least one time in his life and if it is at all possible his dad should take him the first time.

Every man – should slide his knife into a fresh kill that he shot and dress it out. He needs to eat the meat and give thanks for the gift, and a moment of silence for the life taken.

Every man – should have a room where he can keep his things all scattered about or in any order that he wants them in without his wife ever saying anything about it. She should have access to the room to ease her mind that he isn’t keeping secrets from her but she should have enough respect for him to stay out of there and leave his things the way that he left them. If at all possible she should have a special room for her hobbies and special things too.

Every man – should have a fishing pole and a tackle box even if he doesn’t know how to bait a hook. He should go out to a lake a few times a year and get his line wet, even if he never catches a fish.

Every man - should drink alcohol until he throws up at least once. He should have a good friend there to help keep him from going to prison or dying but this is an important rite of passage.

Every man – should go down on a woman at least once in his life. There is nothing like it on earth, it can change your perspective on life.

Every man – should take a little time out each week to get dirty and make grunting noises like “Tim the Tool Man Taylor”