Missing Pieces

To go for years with missing pieces takes its toll

But it’s almost bearable

Because the intensity is muffled

By the years

And the belief that you’re only missing that part of you

Because there are so many miles between you

Truth comes

When your mind relaxes

And you start to understand

The pain comes when it hits you

That there are no longer miles between you

And the pieces are still missing

But now they’re missing by their own choice

A new car

A new fishing pole

A family fishing trip

It all seemed to be in order

Before the trip home

I took a bite of my sandwich

The soft bread mashed with the ham and the cheese

The exquisite taste filled my mouth

A split second of perfection

Reminded me that before that moment

Something wasn’t right

Everything that I am

Everything that I’ve done

Everything that I’ve believed

It’s all a lie

I’m not the good guy

I’m not the martyr

I’m the bringer of pain

That’s all I am

And that’s all I’ll ever be

No matter how hard that I try to do what’s right.

The sad thing about pain

Isn’t the pain itself

It’s the realization

That you deserve the pain.

And all it took

Was one bite

Of one sandwich

For everything that I thought I was

To be gone.