This is the last day that I will be without a college diploma. Its a night for burning bridges and building new roads. I'm still going to play the game that I invented, its called "I win". I've been knocked down many times but I get back up and keep driving forward. Pride, arrogance, conceded call it what you will but I came from nothing and I have what I want now. I got it because I made a choice to go and get it.This is a final goodbye to some childhood things, none of it is meant as a threat or even anything negative. Most of those bad people have died; I am just finalizing my precollege graduate life and moving forward.  It’s been an interesting ride but I’m getting older now and it’s time to let some things go. The following messages should be taken with a grain of salt because in the real world they mean nothing. I’m happy, content and pretty well adjusted now, not to mention a college graduate and a land owner.

Mom – It took me a while to forgive you, but it feels really good to finally have no resentment for my childhood

Grandma – We never really saw eye to eye but you loved me like no other. I forgive you for all of the food that turned me in to the fat kid. I miss you. I can’t wait to see you again. When I get there do you think you could bake me a fruit cake?

Grampa – You are an amazing man, I honestly hope you leave this world soon so the pain of life leaves you. When you go, stop by and see me. You gave me more than you could ever know. Without you I would have ended up a druggy and never become the man that I am today.

Dad – I didn’t need you when I was little, you never came to rescue me when I was all alone every night, you were only a dream that never came true, and when I finally met you,  you betrayed me so horribly that I hate you now. You are dead to me.

Uncle Bob – you pathetic piece of shit, you abandoned your kids to the streets without even saying good bye, you are dead you me too.

Uncle Cliff – When you came to visit us, you went for a walk and you raped that woman, you have no honor, you are a horrible man. You are dead to me.

Uncle Andy – You sang “Wild Fire to me” I remember your kindness. I also remember waking up to a living room full of Museum stuff.  I so wish you weren’t a Junky, I think that you might have been a nice guy, but you are, and as long as you’re using your dead to me. I’m sorry

Blood grandma – You gave birth to my mother, she was addicted to heroin.  I’m glad you killed yourself.

Blood Grampa -  Its cool that you and grama were bank robbers, not cool in a sense that I accept it but cool in the way that it seems that I have an exciting blood line. I am sorry that you were a Junky. I’m sorry that grama was a Junky, but it was your choice, Fuck you both.

Amber – I love you, I wish that I could be a better dad for you.

Edward – Your like the son that I never had.

Chris, Tina, and Jeff, you’re my family, blood or not, you’re my family. I hope to see you again.

Arleen – you died too young, Tony did horrible things to you. I have felt survivors guilt for so many years. Its finally gone. I hope that your resting now. He finally admitted to it, Mondo is still out there but I think that he has changed his life now. I have forgiven him. I hope that you have too. I saw our Mustang when they pulled it from the river. I knew even at that young age that they had drug you behind it. I am so sorry. I was just a boy but I should have protected you.

Tony – Anthony Walker – We let you in to our lives, you camped with us, you had dinner with us, you killed so many people and you were supposed to kill us. You failed, your horrible torture of Arleen sent us on the run but we got away, I was afraid for so long, terrified even. I felt guilt for surviving after you killed her. No more. I’m an adult, I’m putting away childish things and to feel guilty for living through that is no longer an option. I have moved past that and you have no hold on me anymore.

Chris Lance – I know my mom helped to get you hooked on heroin. You were a good guy I hope your all right now.

Cleveland Edmonds – You treated me ok but I remember you backhanding my mom, It seemed like she flew across the room. I don’t forgive you, you and your pink Cadillac can suck my Dick. For the record, You were a black man that did horrible things to people in my life and I still have no hatred for anybody of color because of their color. If there were anybody ever worthy of me using the “N” word to describe them, it would be you. But instead I will say this, I’m all grown up now, do what you will you little bitch cause you can’t hurt me know, come hard or stay home cause I’ll shoot your black ass in a heartbeat if you come to do harm to my family.

Ivory Tindall – I have no Idea what your crazy ass was thinking, You killed those women and buried them, you even had your kids help, some of them told me about it. You’re so twisted, I am glad you never hurt my mother when she worked for you. How close did she come? I hate you.

George Mullins – You hard Ass country mother F%&ker, you beat my mom so many times that and I planned your murder so many times, I can’t count them. That night when you had the knife to her throat, I should have hit you with that fireplace poker, if you weren’t dead tonight I’d drive to your home and finish the job that that 12 year old little boy couldn’t and I’d smile and laugh maniacally while doing it.  You died too soon, it should have been at my hands.

That’s all for now. I’ve burnt some bridges. I have a good life now because I chose to. I moved beyond the life of a drug dealer to the life of a college graduate. I have one thing to say to all of the bad people in my past, In your face Mother F@#kers. I win. I became a Marine and a success.