Fade To Black

The windows were beautiful pictures

Of the greenest grass blowing in the breeze,

Of majestic trees standing proud,

Providing shade,

For the playing children.

 

Pictures.

Of,

Birds floating on the breeze,

With butterflies dancing,

Flower to flower.

 

Look away once,

And the children are gone.

Twilight grey,

Taking the trees' responsibility

From them,

And fading the grass into a solid color.

Look away twice

Darkness there,

Children gone like they never were,

Trees not there,

The grass is gone too.

 

Walls closing in.

 

I let myself believe that the night wouldn't come.

 

A days long delusion,

Shattered by the creeping blackness

The darkness whispers its comforting voice in the wind,

Come to me,

I will comfort you.

No I say,

I gave my word,

I promised her that I wouldn't.

She isn't here,

Your alone,

I'm your only friend.

 

But I promised,

I say.

 

It was strong in my head

but it comes out of my mouth in a whisper,

Or a whimper,

I'm not sure which.

I pray to God for strength,

But I don't know what I'm praying for,

The strength to resist,

Or the strength to close my eyes forever,

I lay my head back on my pillow,

And close my eyes,

Call me home God,

I pray

As my surroundings fade to black,

Sleep comes in fitful cycles,

Waking dreams,

In spinning worlds.

Prayers between dreams,

For the salvation of sleep.

Fade to black again,

But only for a bit.

Pray for the end,

Call me home God,

I'm so tired,

Call me home,

Open your arms and greet me with your loving embrace.

Sleep comes again,

But the inevitable awakening,

Haunts my dreams.

No guts no glory they say,

But I gave my word,

Stupid promises,

I never should have made.

Hold me to this place,

Haunted by lonely visions of the love that is gone.

I embrace her in my dreams when I can find her,

She runs in circles as the rooms bend and fold,

Tunnels open up under porches

doors open up to nowhere.

Swinging wide into nothingness,

as I almost step into the abyss.

She calls to me,

Her alluring voice,

Beckoning,

Filling my heart with loving desire,

Desire for the touch of her skin.

She is just in the next room,

there is a window in the wall,

and I see her shape pass by.

It is cloudy,

But I know it's her.

My heart soars with elation,

As I run to her,

And she isn't there.

Waking in fitful sobs,

I cry out to God,

Take me home please God take me home.

Be with me,

Hug me,

Take the bad away,

Like her touch used to do,

Take the pain from me God,

Like one single touch of her skin used to do.

Please, oh please

Take it away,

As I fade to black and sleep again.

This time there is no pain,

Only darkness,

Answered prayers of darkness,

And sleep.

Waking to sunlight,

I made it again.

There will never be another lonely night,

A delusion that I need to keep,

Until the darkness comes again,

And I fade to black.

Douglas c. Face

                                                                                                                  04/30/08