The Blue Pill

I think that I finally figured out

why people hang on to their beliefs

so fiercely

Years ago

I was in a coma

For two and a half weeks

It changed my perception

Of everything

I lived for 30 years

In a hallucination/dream

Things were shown to me

That changed everything for me

When it was over

I no longer believed

In what I knew as fact

For so many years

All of the things that I would have died for

No longer applied

I fell through time and space

Grasping at anything

That would help me to feel normal

I think that is the answer

Once we give up our facts

We have nothing

To hold on to

We have nothing

To base anything on

Nothing is real

There is no stability

There is no security

Sometimes I think that

I would give anything

To go back and take the blue pill

I would love to have something

that I would die for

Something that I believed in so strongly

That I would sacrifice anything for it

But those times are past

I understand that all men are liars

No political party is right

No religion is right

No theory is right

Nothing

Everything

It’s all biased

I know three people that are so certain

They believe with all of their heart

They are so convinced

That they understand what is right

And what is wrong

I envy their naivety

I envy the world

that they surround themselves with

I envy the security that they must feel

By having such strong beliefs

I relate the intense belief

that they are right

to the Muslim extremists

that each of them

believe to be so wrong

It’s that intense conviction

To the belief that they are right

That drives them

To push so hard

Hard enough to effect

the people around them

Don’t get me wrong

I wouldn’t want

to have the effect

that they have

on the people

around them

That would just be sad

I’m just saying that

It would be nice

to believe that strongly

Even if I were wrong

At least that would be something

I’ve spent too many years studying

I’ve seen too many theories

Proved wrong

I’ve seen too many things

That were deliberately

Skewed

To show a certain result

I’ve studied for too many hours

To ever believe what a man says

Even if that man truly believes it

With all of his heart.

I’d give anything to go back

And take the blue pill

Just so I could believe

in anything one more time.