I was gung ho

For college

I mean I was really for it

I even got my first degree

I thought I was doing

the right thing

after all

I’m the first in three generations

To stay out of prison

I’m the first

That I know of

In my family line

To get a degree

But those words

Keep coming back to me

“College is over rated”

I’ve let my “A”’s

Turn in to “C”’s

I went from being

in the National Honor society

to believing that

I’ve wasted my time

And tens of thousands of dollars

On top of that

No matter how hard I try

I’ll never be considered an equal

I have long hair

And I’m not Christian

I don’t think that it matters

But

I’m thinking of throwing in the towel

I’m dropping my classes

I think I’m done trying to be

something that I’m not

I was born in to a family of criminals

I worked hard to be better

But the truth is

That even if you shine a turd

Its still a turd

I don’t want to go back

to the life that I ran from

but

no matter how hard I try

there are always those

that will see me

for who I really am

Isn’t it strange

How someone can wave at you

And still have

a look of disgust

in their eyes

from their open office door

I’m not apologizing

for not being Christian

or not living up to the standards

of the high and mighty

but I am sorry

to all of “my” people

the low ones

the futureless ones

I’m sorry

That I didn’t believe them

When they told me

That I never had a chance

To break free

From that life

To all of you

From the streets

I’m sorry

You were right.

A good friend reminded me

It took a while to sink in

But it finally has.

I never belonged in college

To all of my college friends

Good luck in life

I wish you well