Last night I asked the Goddess to help me work through whatever it is that is holding me  back.

 

This morning I went dreamwalkng again

My friends and I were fishing

We were on a river that I’ve never been on

 

We were on a rock in the river

I was fishing and I caught a cane pole

I laid it on the rock because it was brand new

I looked for my friends and they were gone

I could see them in the distance on a boat

 

I turned around and a few college kids were there

I was a child and the college guys were football players

 

The biggest one was very mean

He grabbed the cane pole that I had caught and started to walk in to the water

I was half his size but I went after him

 

I hit him and spun him around

As he was going down I got on top of him and grabbed his balls

I pushed his head under and squeezed his balls

The pain made him inhale water

The struggle didn’t last long

I drowned him

Somehow I knew this was George

 

The scene faded

I was about 13

George was alive but he didn't have a beard

He looked like like he was about 20

I pretended to be a normal child

But I was really an adult hiding in a child’s body

 

He was actually being nice

We were at the table in a restaurant

 

He was being disrespectful to my mom

But I just played as if I were a child

And then I turned to him

I told him that if I had known that he really was that young

And this unintimidating

That I would never have been afraid of him

 

I pulled my knife

We struggled but his power was all but gone

We were on top of the table with my knife pressed firmly against his throat

 

I reached for the wall and pulled a wakizashi from its sheath

I pressed it hard against his throat

I was winning

I knew that I could kill him any time that I wanted

I let him go

 

He didn’t pull his knife

He just sat there

Then he got up and he was being cocky  and talking about being able to do anything that he wants and that nobody could stop him

 

I pulled my gun

Walked up to him

Pulled back the hammer

 

For once I saw fear in his eyes

 

The police officer that was standing there walked up to me

He told me to stop

Then turned to call more police

 

I fired in to the ceiling

George stumbled back

I laid the gun on the table

And grabbed George

 

The officer drew his weapon

 

I pointed to the ceiling

And said I didn’t shoot him

 

I stood up and put my hands behind my back

 

The officer came up to me

Held my sleeves to keep my hands behind my back

 

George was gone but he came out of the next room dressed in a police uniform

He said how I was going away forever

all of his police friends were laughing

 

I told of how he beat my mom all of the time

And they kept laughing

They were just like the police when I was little

They wouldn’t help

 

After a while

Some female officers were there and they started listening to my story

They listened to how George made his son sit in the middle of the floor and break his toys and how he used to beat his son with his fists

I told them that his son would testify

 

George was handcuffed and they sat him on a bench

He was so childlike and unintimidating

 

The dreamwalk faded

 

I was making pizza for some friends

I couldn’t get it right

But they didn’t mind

They were still my friends anyway


What does all of this mean?
I don’t know

But I think part of it was to show me that George was a child inside and as an adult he was acting the only way that he knew how. I know he was beat as a child. I know his life was very hard. I don’t think that he ever got to be a child either. I think that part of this was to show me that he has no more power.

anyway, that’s what I hope it means. I’m sure that more will be revealed as time goes on as long as I’m willing to do the work.